Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
• Heght of optimism: Soldier: Sir, we are surrounded! Major: Excellent! We can attack in any direction now!
• Said to a railroad engineer: What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. Rilroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
• A girl came back home from the school and asked her grandmother, "Granny, what is a lover?" "A lover?" the grandmother said. "Let me think. Lov.... Lover.... Oh, my God!" She rushed to the wall, pulled aside the hanging rug, revealing a hidden closet door. She unlocked the door, and a skeleton of a young man fell out from the closet.
• A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
• Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money.
• Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.
• Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your ****ty ideas from!
• The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case? No, your honor," replied Banta, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it.
-- Edited by futuregenious at 00:14, 2006-03-30
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