Topic Discussion 4: Parental Interferance

futuregenious · Web Guru

Topic Discussion 4: Parental Interferance

shalaka · Senior Member

RE: Topic Discussion 3: Parental Interferance

adnan · Guru

yup dis is surely a topic to start wid......hmm...... i think dat parental interference is gud but only to sum extent like puttin a check over their children and guiding them and not more than dat coz after all its childhood and school age....

adnan

Janani · Member

i think its tiem parents and their kids cum2 a compromise. parents shud respect the freedom their kids want, but shud set certain limits 2 make sure their kids don go haywire. kids from their side, shud be able 2 convince their parents bout doin stuff they wanna. this way i guess can reduce the so called generation gap prbs.

smilypranami · Veteran Member

RE: Topic Discussion 4: Parental Interferance

shalaka · Senior Member

hmmm it just struck me... dont some people's parents give them a bit TOO much freedom? yes guys, there is such a thing as too much freedom. result? bad marks, bad company, and , well, all u think of is ur social life. i know a lot of ppl lyk dat....

my parents, they let me go for my friends' parties, but not to those 'dhoom' or the 'just chill' parties. um, actually, i dont noe wat i'd do at those parties. well, some parents send there kids to ALL parties, EVEN dhoom, and ALL friends parties. i think thats a leetle bit too much.

hmmmmm some parents dont keep a check on their friends at all! they dont noe who their kids noe, who they hang out with, nothing!

so, well, the kiddos carelike ONLY about parties, the latest gossip, friends, and well, it just shows in thier marks.

any comments, anyone?

Janani · Member

i sooooooo totally agree wid pranami, parents ALWAYS(and believe me they do dis at every opportunity) tell bout da gud ol times, when kids wudnt rebel and wud do wat their told. I mean, c'mon its time for them 2 stop thinkin' da way dey wanna and start movin with da present times....

my parents dont really have a prb wid me talkin 2 boys or hangin out wid frndz or goin online, but only up2 a certain limit. and i have learnt dat i cant cross dat line and am quite happy with de freedom i get and i wanna enjoy it 2 da maximum..........

ameen_sep22 · Guru

wen it cums to parental interference this might be the case only wid indians...yeah wid a probability for a few westerners....well i think parental interference depende upon the trust our parents have for us....u cant expect that ur parents may allow u to do anyfin u like if u have a record for bad behavious or such things....we must remember dat we still depend on our parents for a lot of thingies for eg: Expenditure..which they arent goin to do jus for the heck of it...and even parents shud realise abt da space needed for us esecially since we're in our teens...they shud not expect us to cum and share everythin that happens in our lives or obey them 100%..(this is for ppl who need sum freedom)....dare has to be sum line of control which parents hafta realize....parents cant expect us to tell them whoz goin out wid whom and what ABC did to XYZ or who had a fight....(yeah dare still are a few borin ppl who do tell this to thier parents to show how obedient and diciplined they are than others) so at the end of the everyone cums to a conclusion dat we teens definately need sum space and freedom to do sumthin or to live our lives after all this freedom or independence is what prepares us for our lives later on....

Azure · Veteran Member

Different kids need different treatment from parents. You can never make a generalized statement as to how kids should be treated by parents. Lazy and "cool" kids need restrictions, nerdy kids need to be given freedom. You could go on debating about parental strictness -- you have to think about striking that necessary balance.

Let's take an example. Suppose Paul is a champion at tennis, but struggles to concentrate on his studies. What do the parents do? It is fairly obvious that they have to get Paul to study. But how? By beating him up? Or by showing him affection and heartfelt motivation? Either way, they have to interfere in what he does. However, now comes the crucial decision -- to what extent should they interfere? As I said before, it is completely based on the child's attitudes and emotional intelligence. If he understands the problem himself and moves on in life accepting the truth and working towards his future, there's absolutely no problem. However, if he doesn't understand all this, the parents have every right to take whatever action. Case rested.

All this talk about "our generation used to be so obedient" is complete nonsense. Who cares how their childhood was? And why should it be applied now in this generation? That idea makes no sense at all.

Now onto the next topic: freedom. Everyone needs freedom. Even grandparents need freedom, let alone today's kids. Like I said before, if the parent thinks the child is mature enough to not do something crazy, let the kid go! And I can assure you that the only way a child learns is by experimenting. You tell a kid not to touch fire. What does he do? Boldly goes and touches fire and then knows for himself that it was a crazy idea. Similarly, at some point in time, the kid will realize his "bigger" mistakes and learn to move on in life. Experience is far more important than education. We're humans -- we learn only by experience.

deadlydivs · Queen

I hate it when parents butt in. Ok fine on certain kids they do need to exert sum control but totally butting in and spyin really sets me off. If we wanna tell them sumthing we can. We arnt dumb. We no where to stop. Where to draw the line. We might occassionally toe it, but come on!!!!

"Where do u think ur goin, young lady??? Who? Whos that??? Never heard of that person. U cant go to the party of a person who we dnt no""WHat r u thinkin??? UR WEARIN THAT IN PUBLIC???"

Those r the kind of questions most ppl face. If parents r cool then its like no probs. But there 1 thing I DETEST! When parents r on abt boyz.

"R boyz comin to the party? Ok sorry gurl ur absolutely NOT ALLOWED to go."

Thats the scenario in one of my best frnds house. SHe cant go to a party. Y? Guys r cumin. I mean cum on!! this is the 21st centuary for gods sake. Its not like we (a) will do anything bad. ANyways i gtg. (GET OFF THE NET!!! : Mom)

cya

divs

membranz · Dec 3, 2005

listen i agree with u all dudes that parents are try'g to bring us under their control b't we dudes r brougt up in a high level society .but listening 2 our parents helpus 2 knw the right thingsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

but then there is a limit

they shd not except us to sit in da home and study within a day after the xams r ove. na good.

so we shud talk to them -n- xplain our probs n wishes.i hope so this shud lot of probs bet. our parents

but we shud as we promise themmmmmmmmmmmmm

then iam sure the'll give us all the freedom we want.

shalaka · Senior Member

hmm i totally agree with divie abt da clothes. n well sumtimes parents can be SO overprotective!! i missed my bus today n asked my mom if i cud cum home by cab...(i trval to n from skul in evenings by cab, with ma mom)...and she totally refused. its not like i dont know the route or anything... boys, u r so lucky u get the freedom to go wherever u want, u noe its not easy being a girl...parents act like ur gonna get kidnapped the minute u walk across da road alone!!

comment...

adnan · Guru

well u know nythin kan happen in todays world, so parents can get bit times lil more carin. i know its bit uneasy for us and we know we have grown up, but in thier eyes we still r kids. some of u may agree and some of u may just quit de browser readin dis. but reality is reality and none kann change it. i dunno say we like bein pampered and i know most of us r nah. oman is totally a strange country for us...well not totally but lil....so ur parents try to guide u...and talkin bout bein a boy or a gal......dere is nofin better than bein a boy! sorry if u dunno like it but dats TRUE!

adnan

arshia · Member

I am pretty comfortable with the freedom my parents give me. I do not ask for more. THEY give me enough pocket money allow me to go to parties etc. Yes they do scare me by saying "if u get less marks you're grounded for the rest of your life" they actually never do it maybe 'cause i never get less marks. And believe it or not.......THEY ALLOWED ME TO PLAY PLANCHIT (CALLING SPIRITS) RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR VERY NOSE!!!!!!. all parents are not the same....but i feel u should be proud for all that your parents do for u.

shalaka · Senior Member

now, with my mum in dubai n me out here, i realise wat she does 4 me....

that whole "law n order" thing in da house has been replaced by utter chaos. my waterbottle, i cant find it. my prefect badge is lost in the clutter of ma desk (gotta dig it out b4 monday...). i have to be foreva on ma toes coz ma dad, he likes bein , u noe, systematic n i m kinda sloppy.

thankfully i have 2 endure only today, as tomoro i go to dubai 4 nationals. nyway, gtg pack.

as they always say, u neva appreciate a thing till its gone... i realised dat now.

lidia · Senior Member

hear hear shalaka,

u neva noe the beauty until the sweet voiced bird has flown....

c'mon guys....do we hate our parents and rules that much?...

perhaps there is such a thing as over protective parents and we being teenagers and out to have fun and conquer the world may take this as a giant conspiracy between all parents to make sure we their children neva get to have fun and only study study study.....

but surely how many of us actually listen to the rules laid down..wat is everybody complaining abt ?u noe the rules, u break em, u r mostly forgiven by ur parents and yet u complain abt less freedom...

what a joke...

as adnan sed nythin can happen 2day and the news on tv freak parents out and they do tend to get a bit more than friendly parents.....(by the way bein a girl is the best part abt being alive for me...)

membranz perhaps they wudn't expect you to sit at home and study all the time if you come to terms wid them and say dat u ll study at so an so time and actually keep ur promise...

shalaka ur mum clearly noes sumthin abt cab drivers aroun heredeadlydivs, do we really noe where to stop, what are the limits...?yes we arn't dumb but we're teens and that is = wacky...!

and perhaps its good that parents noe what kind of ppls parties we go to, wat sorta lifestyle they lead.

and parents shud stop going on bt how they were sooo goody two shoes when they were our age...we've heard that story a hundred times and no we'ree not taking that..

that was 35 to 40 years ago and its time parents realized that...

maybe the only answer to this problem is a kinda balanced relationship..parent thou shalt respect thy children and children for heaven's sake try lisening to ur parents..

i aint exactly de best most outrageous party animal and sum of ma frends sed"u r goin to look back when ur thirty an regret WHERE DID MA CHILDHOOD GO?

I din't answer her then, i do now,"it dint go anywhere.its here where i want it to be.an maybe ull look back bfore ur 30 an regret what did i do wid ma childhood....

shalaka · Senior Member

well, yes. after a mega huge argument wid mom just yesterday, she told me many many stories about creepy taxi drivers that made me never want to step into a cab again.

ah well, my mom gives me as much freedom as i want...but she knows, at a given point of time, exactly where i'll b n wat i'll b doin. thats fine wid me. i got nothin to hide.

unlike some ppl i can mention....i'm not namin no names here, but just a couple of days ago, i was at athletics pracs, and the whole team was there, n this kinda well known girl n guy come n start talkin to the team. then they went n sat in the stands, n accordin to ma friends mom, they were bein very touchy-feely thingy. n half the team was watchin them. well, when they realised that they were bein watched they went up the stairs into the senior skul compound. wat they did i leave to ur imaginations...

ah well, i say this is wat happens when parents give us too much freedom. everyone who was in the field that day will noe who i am talkin about.

i hav nothin more to say for now.... we can see xamples of this kinda stuff everyday if we all just take a trip up n down da fire escape, or glance out of any of the windows there.

its not like all us 'cool teens' approve of what happened that day. i definitely dont, n judgin from what i heard, neither does my team.

aijaz · Member

hey guys

its been a long time 4 me. i must say im confunded at the way varun cumz up wid these topics the latest bout parents is interesting especially when it cumz 2 ma parents specially ma dad who hates me talkin 2 gals n guys alike. i feel that parents r necessary in ones life their guidance helps u 2 scale heights n im sure that most of u r lucky when it cumz 2 parents who support u when ur low on morale n compliment u on ur achievements alike but think bout those who don hav parents or whose parents are waaay 2 lineant, theyre spoilt brats.

trust me it is very tough 4 a kid who has no parents or parents who don giv a damn 2 row up n manage himself . when a person gets lonely mostly theres no dad consolin him or no mom wipin his tears the only consolation cumz frm his friends n hey all don hav rockin friends like me

sooooooo......... i think parents r verrrrrryyyy important but if theyre 222222 strict might as well not hav them which im sure is not the case wid any of u. jus remeba guys that don think sooo much bout ur parents go on liv ur life coz this is a time of ur life ull rememba alwayzzz

futuregenious · Web Guru

WEBMASTERS VERDICT

The 4th Discussion on WhatsUpISM.com. Hmm... A succesful one. Wishing everybody a very happy new year as all of you'll come up with some great New Year Resolutions.

So what was the need for such a topic? It sounds stupid when it is read about or told about. But, in reality it is related to each one of us. And has caused issues in each of our homes. What is this generation gap all about? This is what we wanted to know. And, believe me, we had some really amazing and well-worked out answers.

Shalaka, I agree with our parents telling us that all that they say is for our safety. But the problem comes when their thought clashes with ours as to the extent of how free we should be. It is not that they do not want us to enjoy our life and have fun, but its only that they still have the extra-conservative nature as they are from the so-called 'Old Times'.

Today, we live in a society which has so much freedom in all respects. And that is how we interact with so many people and hear about how free our friends our. But that does not mean that we must also be given as much freedom as they get. And in our teenage, without even analysing we come to decisions. And thus, we want too much freedom which is not good.

Parents always want the good of their child and that is why they mould them in that way. Becoming paranoid, shouln't be the right attitude, but we continue to do so.

Working things out in better ways can be a solution. But at the end, it leads into quarrels. So, maybe we have to try to control our anger it they cannot because we are the younger ones.

simplypranami, our parents do ask us our secrets. And we often do not want to tell them as we are in the teenage and require privace. This is natural and all teens have to pass through these stages. But usually, sharing few thoughts results in good communication between the parents and the children.

Talking with friends of the opposite sex is often misunderstood by not only parents, but many of us too. Its all about widening our point of view. And parents, I think you'll need to work on that.

Ameen, I so totally agree with you. I appreciate the maturity you have shown in your post. Its is the trust which they have in us. And they give us everything we want, and thus, we have to respect them and reciprocate in a similar manner.

Azure, nice Paul story. A nice way to prove your point. Yeah, and it surely depends on how you are.

I would also like to tell you what our Biology teacher Mrs. Claire Antony feels. I remember asking us why is there so much of a gap between the young generation and their parents? She feels that we should be more free to express our thoughts with our parents. So friends, someone to start the trend!

Wow Shalaka, happy to know you came to know the importance of your parents.

Yes surely we have few limits defined for us. So if you live in those, you'll enjoy but don't try getting out of it. Try to enlarge it by widening your parents thoughts by sharing your feelings with them They'll surely understand.

So start workin' things out. Believe me, it will work!