• Pilot Santa asking permission to land said, "Guess who?"
Controller Banta switches the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"

• A politician's most important ability is to foretell what will happen tomorrow and next month and next year - and to explain afterwards why it didn't happen.

• There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment:
What happened to this one?
I don’t know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

• "Hello! Where are you coming from?" asked Bill.
"Oh, don't ask me! I'm coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law" replied Jim.
"I'm so sorry!" said Bill, "But why is your face schratched all over?"
"It wasn't so easy!" said Sid, "She put on a hell of a fight!"

• "Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be. "He and my husband don't get along."

• A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman & said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him & said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

• When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.

• Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire?
Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

• Q: What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Maro dikro Dubai gayo?"
A: My son drowned.