- Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. - Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. - You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. - You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by. - You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. - Car mechanics tell you the truth. - You don't give a rat's butt if someone notices your new haircut. - You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me) - The world is your urinal. - You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you. - You get to jump up and slap stuff. - Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. - One mood, all the time. - You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. - You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just to skeevy. - You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. - You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. - Same work....more pay. - Gray hair and wrinkles add character. - You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. - Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. - You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. - With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. - You don't mooch off others' desserts. - Foreplay is optional.
__________________
~*~*~*~g@lz wId a$$e$ lIkE mInE, dOnT t@lK 2 gUyZ wId f@cEs LiKe uRz~*~*~*~
~!~!~!G|_|RL P()W3R~!~!~!
- You never have to clean the toilet. - You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. - Sex means never worrying about your reputation. - Wedding plans take care of themselves. - If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend. - Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. - The National College Cheerleading Championship. - None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry. - You don't have to shave below your neck. - You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. - If you're 34 and single nobody notices. - You can write your name in the snow. - You can get into a nontrivial peeing contest. - Everything on your face stays its original color. - Chocolate is just another snack. - You can be president. - You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. - Flowers fix everything. - Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. - You never have to worry about other people's feelings. - You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. - You can wear a white shirt to a water park. - Three pair of shoes are more than enough. - You can eat a banana in a hardware store. - You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
__________________
~*~*~*~g@lz wId a$$e$ lIkE mInE, dOnT t@lK 2 gUyZ wId f@cEs LiKe uRz~*~*~*~
~!~!~!G|_|RL P()W3R~!~!~!
