So there's this Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then he gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush.
At that point, he is so mad that he throws the it into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very, very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt.
After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
"By the way, what did the chicken do?"
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~*~*~*~g@lz wId a$$e$ lIkE mInE, dOnT t@lK 2 gUyZ wId f@cEs LiKe uRz~*~*~*~
~!~!~!G|_|RL P()W3R~!~!~!
At the end of a job interview, the head of human resources asked the young engineer out of MIT, "What starting salary are you looking for?"
The engineer decides to shoot for the moon, "I'm thinking of 125K a year or so, depending on the benefits package."
"Hmmm. Well what do you say to five weeks paid vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, and retirement funds that will match at 50%, and a company car leased every two years, say maybe a fine Porsche?" replied the interviewer.
The engineer gasps and says, "Wow, are you kidding?"
"Yeah," replies the interviewer, "but you started it."
__________________
~*~*~*~g@lz wId a$$e$ lIkE mInE, dOnT t@lK 2 gUyZ wId f@cEs LiKe uRz~*~*~*~
~!~!~!G|_|RL P()W3R~!~!~!
