First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

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Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you? 

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Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r

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Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?

A: There is a stamp on it

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I went to ur house justnow - can't enter cos door says *CUTE FOLK NOT ALLOWED* - pls take sign down next time ok!

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 The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

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Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem 

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If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

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Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key. 

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How come night falls but day breaks?

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How do you get off a non-stop flight?

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