Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Jokes


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:
RE: Jokes


k tis is jus a joke......mus b funny...a gurl postin tis....


 


45 Things women cant do!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



1 Know anything about a car except its colour
2 Understand a film plot
3 Go 24 hours without sending a text message
4 Lift
5 Throw
6 Run
7 Park
8 Read a map
9 Rob a bank
10 Sit still
11 Tell a joke
12 Play pool
13 Pay for dinner
14 Eat a kebab while walking
15 Argue without shouting
16 Get told off without crying
17 Understand fruit machines
18 Walk past a shoe shop
19 Make a decent bacon sandwich
20 Not comment on strangers clothes
21 Use small amounts of toilet paper
22 Let you sleep with a hang over
23 Drink a pint gracefully
24 Get a round in
25 Throw a punch
26 Do magic
27 Like your friends
28 Eat a really hot curry
29 Get to the point
30 Buy plain envelopes
31 Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
32 Sit in a room for 5 minutes without saying " I'm Cold "
33 Go shopping without telephoning 20 friends
34 Avoid credit card debt
35 Dive into a pool
36 Assemble furniture
37 Set a video recorder
38 Not try to change you
39 Watch a war film
40 Understand why flirting results in violence
41 Spend a day by themselves
42 Go to the toilet by themselves
43 Buy a purse that fits in your pocket
44 Choose a video quickly
45 Get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the above



__________________
(_..+^* Prêcïøu§ *^+.._)


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:


Question: An elephant was in love with a she-elephant.

But the she-elephant went and got married to some other elephant. So our elephant was very Depressed.

One of his friends felt sorry for him, and took him to a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a see-saw, but the see-saw broke. Now, which song would

our hero sing?


Ans: "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each other and  want to get married, but cannot.
Why?


Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is illegal.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Question: One fine morning, Ravan felt guilty day for all his bad deeds. He felt that he should go an apologise to Ram for all the problems he had  caused.

So he went to Ram's house and knocked on the door. Ram
opened  the  door and was surprised to find Ravan standing there. Ravan just kept  staring  and thinking
but didn't say a word.


What was he thinking?
Ans: "Kis mooh se maafi maangoon?"
-----------------------------------------------------------




-- Edited by khush_cool at 23:12, 2006-09-17

__________________
(_..+^* Prêcïøu§ *^+.._)


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:

A railway station beggar meets another beggar.A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?


"So, which platform are you working on?" 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
Question: What do you call a person who is leaving India?
Ans: Hindustan Lever
 


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: What do you call a person who leaves India, but doesn't  travel much?
Ans: Hindustan Lever Limited.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Question: Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha. Uska naam kya tha?
Ans: Adidas.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: What is the similarity between Satynarayan pooja and the Indian cricket team?
Ans: Dono ke ant me "Prasad" aataa hai.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Who is Joe?
Ans: Kambakth ishq.. Because "Kambakth ishq hai Joe!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



__________________
(_..+^* Prêcïøu§ *^+.._)


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:

this will make u fall off ur chair!!

Woh kaun sa hindi geet hai jis main "Internet Explorer" ka zikar kiya gaya hai???
Hint: The heroine also refers to herself as Internet Explorer.
If you don't know...

Scroll down for the answer...







Scroll further down




A bit more













The answer is... Maine Pyar Kiya.

And the song goes....

Aajaa shaam hone IE (Internet Explorer)

Mausam ne lee angada IE

To kis baat ki hai lada IE

Tu chal........ Main IE !!!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

__________________
(_..+^* Prêcïøu§ *^+.._)


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:

Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband


One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him ?" 


_________________________________

Question: The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie "my heart is an umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
Ans: Dil Chhaata Hai.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

__________________
(_..+^* Prêcïøu§ *^+.._)


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:


Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :

Phulwa,RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri

were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden, Phulwa started to

sing a song. the moment Phulwa stopped singing the song,

RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and RaamChuri fell down

from the wall !!!...

WHY ???

scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . . .


.

.

.not getting, very simple yaar..

.



coz, they all started clapping !!!!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

__________________
(_..+^* Prêcïøu§ *^+.._)


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:

One More



What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?

...and the Answer is..........

.




.

.Scroll down.

.

.

.



.



.

.Just One Scroll ..

.


.

.

.

.

.

.


.



.

HAS I NA



__________________
(_..+^* Prêcïøu§ *^+.._)


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 655
Date:

WHAT IS MARRIAGE???



1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6 Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: tat happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway

lighs on.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

__________________
(_..+^* Prêcïøu§ *^+.._)
«First  <  1 2 | Page of 2  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard