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khush_cool


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1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while
driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.



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khush_cool


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1. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

2. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.

3. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees
with me.

4. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

5. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

6. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.

7. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to speak.

8. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
for you.

9. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something.

10. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books....



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khush_cool


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A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
******************************************************
Love Letter
***********
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma, Please answer the following questionnaire.
For Options (a) 10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks.

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me
because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me
because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you
stopped singing
because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it
because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and
you took only my friend's
because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college
because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose
on your head
because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM
because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in
expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and
it's getting ready to bloom.
If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or
not .

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

love,
Aakash

===============================================
Reply
*****
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format........ Aakash,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class,
sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop
singing or not?
(a) Yes
(b) No

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You
poked your nose inside..... Right
(a) Yes
(b) No

5) I avoided holding your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand
yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
(a) Yes
(b) No

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) NO

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it
true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come
daily to Temple. Do you know?
(a) Yes
(b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I do not love you.
If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love



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khush_cool


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Chinese Name confusion .

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan . And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital..

Operator : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree .

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree .

Caller: Oh .....God.......



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khush_cool


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A husband and wife had just divorced and the wife was supposed to vacate the house.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into
boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she
had the movers come and collect her things. On the
third day, she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on
some soft background music and feasted on a pound of
shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every
room and depositeda Few half-eaten shrimp dipped in
caviar, into the hollow of thecurtain rods. She then
cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband
returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss forthe
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing
the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and
carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung
everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off
gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a
few days, and in the end even paid to replace the
expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People
stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to
work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could
not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A
month later, even though they had cut their price in
half, theycould not find a buyer for their stinky
house. Word got out and eventually even the local
realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they
had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank
topurchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and
asked how things were going. He toldher the saga of
the rotting house. She listened politely and said
thatshe missed her old home terribly, and would be
willing to reduce herdivorce settlement in exchange
for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no
idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a Price that
was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but
only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She
agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the
paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend
stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack
everything to take to their new home....
.......including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?????
--



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khush_cool


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Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on
the
    side
    of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a
halt.

    The
    driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban
    sunglasses,
    TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks
the
    Shepherd:
    "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one
of
    them?"

    The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large
    flock
    of
    grazing sheep and replies: "Okay." The young man parks the car,
    connects
    his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the
ground

    using
    his GPS, opens a dat! abase and 60 Excel tables filled with
    logarithms
    and
    pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech
    mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have
exactly
    1,586
    sheep here."

    The shepherd cheers," That's correct, you can have your sheep."

    The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his
Porsche.
    The
    shepherd looks at him and asks:
    "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

    The young man answers, "Yes, why not". The shepherd says, "You
are an

    IT
    consultant ".How did you know?" asks the young man.
    "Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here
without
    being
    called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I
already
    knew,
    and third, you don't understand anything about my business...

    Now can I have my DOG back?

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khush_cool


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1.) What is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz....
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

2) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..

3) Who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
..........sita with ravan

4) What did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

5) n elephant falls in luv wid n Ant.but Ant?s parents r against their
marrige?guess y??
they gave a solid reason?**Ladke k daat bahar hai**

6) Full form of MATHS????
Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students?

7) What wud u call a girl who never laughs??
 hasina



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khush_cool


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Jokes Of Mr. Bean


1) BRAIN TUMOR :





Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps

in joy)



Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course,

do you think I'm dumb?



Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that

proves that I have a brain!






2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE

SCHOOL :



Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9




Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying

to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!






3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:





Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A,

B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do,

my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!






4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:





Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your

PIN no., hee, hee.



Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks

(****)!





5) Marriage :




Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16




Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the

priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.





6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:



Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you

mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.



Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.







7 )DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the

doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my

friend.



(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?




Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!





8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:



Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because
of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright,

me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.





9) Spelling lesson:



Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c
or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three

c to be sure!


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khush_cool


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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.



"Why are you down here at this time of night ?"



The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes I do" she replies.



The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.



"Do you remember when your father caught us in the movie theatre.............?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.



The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?".




"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,




"I would have been released today ! "

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khush_cool


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God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.

Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have
given them insecurity and tension....

And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes....

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would
have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.

One of the angels asked... "God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?"
God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA", my most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly
people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....

The angel was quite surprised: "But god you said everything should be in balance."

God replied -- "Look at the neighbors I gave them."

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khush_cool


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One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.

As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the
front door,


the guy started feeling a little in the mood. With an
air of
confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he
said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will
see us!"


"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He
asked grinning at her.


"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"


"Oh come on!


There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".


"No way, it's just too risky!"


"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".


"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".


"Oh yes you can. Please?"


"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "


Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and


the girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair


dishevelled, and in a sleepy voice she said,


"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or


I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down


herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of
ours....


TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!"




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khush_cool


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New style of writing a love letter   :    
 

My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda), after WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much, I dare to say that you are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and my AIWA (Pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (Better than the best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles)  for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh) feeling for me.

I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough)  but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).

If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better). They will feel MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye) . For our marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone's Invited) and after marriage we'll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME - The World's best homemakers)

Trust in God who's always NOKIA (Connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made for each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy) and PARX (Always Comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye!

I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil mange more).

LG (Digitally Yours)!!!!!
bye bye    

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khush_cool


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A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his

room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and

without realizing

his error, he sent the e-mail.


Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned

from her

husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence

messages from

relatives and friends.


After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's

son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the

computer screen which read:



To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached


Date: 7 oct 2006


I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have


computers

here, and we


are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.


I've just reached and have been checked in.



I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival


tomorrow.


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khush_cool


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An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to
spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who
would have helped him,
was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son
and mentioned his
situation.

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able to plant
my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the
garden, because
your mother always loved planting time. I'm just
getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot.

If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I
know you would dig
the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.





Love, Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For
Heaven's sake, Dad,
don't dig up the garden!!! That's where I buried the
GUNS"

At 4 a.m . the next morning,

A dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up
and dug up the
entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son
telling him what
happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your
potatoes, Dad. It's the
best I could do for you from here."


 



-- Edited by khush_cool at 14:32, 2006-12-17

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WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND:
Definitely not!

WIFE:
Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND:
Of course I do.

WIFE:
Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND:
Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE:
You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND:
(makes audible groan).

WIFE:
Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND:
Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE:
Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND:
Where else would we sleep?

WIFE:
Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND:
Probably, it is almost new

WIFE:
Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND:
That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE:
Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND:
No, she's left-handed.

WIFE:
- - silence - -

HUSBAND:
oh god

-- Edited by khush_cool at 22:05, 2006-12-17

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khush_cool


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A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Bring to me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the
wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you
IDIOT?"

"No!" replied t he Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.


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ISMlover


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I didnt fall for that one

knew it was fake before i even did it

how in the world could such a weird mixture become a true shape?hmm

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Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him
for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the
beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized
that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some
money. Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have
money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will
certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the
beggar. The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of
tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one
to the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to
health." The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and
told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It i! s
really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain
and damages the liver". The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am
going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some
tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and
leave me alone". As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer
by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a
bad habit." Suddenly the man felt relieved !! and asked the beggar to
come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in
anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still
had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your
house with you".

The man replied.......................
..........................














"My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like.
..


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Don't kill me after reading this

Ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyan(6 fingers) hoti hain... sab log use "Hanuman" bulate hain... kyun???
.
.
.
.
Ans:kyounki uska nam hanuman hota hai!

what is PJ???



phaltu joke..





what is P+iJ ???







complex phaltu joke...


why dont we laugh on a it???




coz the joke part is imaginary!!!




Whats the opposite of Real??



Its COCONUT....
Y....Socho...???

Becuase it is 'Na-Real'

i'll write a book an pjs and dedicate it to whom? our president....why
scroll down for answer
.
.
.
.
.
.
coz he is mr. a.P.J.abdul kalam
what is the vector form of sridevi????
???
?
?
?
ANS : - TABU!!!!
confused???? why????
.
.
ok i'l tell you...
.
.
.
. because.
.
.
.
. sridevi did chandni and tabu did chandni bar!!!!!
What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants to tell her to call
him up...?
:...
:...
:...
Ring De Basanti

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khush_cool


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An English professor wrote the words:
" A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly..

All of the males in the class wrote :
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote :
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful!!

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A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," said the drunk with a hiccup, "I got in the backseat by mistake. weirdfaceweirdface

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A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their
hands

explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception.

A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Gita

why she is an Indian.

"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason", she says loudly "if
your
mom

was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile.

"Then" says Gita, "I'd be an American."

biggrinbleh

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A real scene in a DIVORCE COURT......

The Judge asks the little girl :
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with
your mummy ?

Little Girl.- No, my mummy beats me.

Judge.- Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy ?

Little Girl.- No, my daddy beats me too.

Judge.- Well then, who do you want to live with ???

Little Girl.- I want to live with the INDIAN CRICKET TEAM, they never
beat anybody !!!    blankstareblankstareblankstareblankstareblankstareblankstareblankstareblankstare

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*It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a
country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home!
Let's Thank... KAAMWALI BAI


* Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but
I really Luv U!
Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.


* Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.


* Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko
kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal


* Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN


* Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri
galfriend
tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile


* It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one
exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS


* Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha
gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha

Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey



* Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se
lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear
without fear n very clear


* Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT: Ticket hai?
Sadhu: Nahin
TT: Chalo
Sadhu: Kahan?
TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein


* What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH

*Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain aur wife Be-Gum ho jaate hai.

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Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
if, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
in other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
if Men - earn money = Pigs
in other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Women = Pigs + spend
if, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs

Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!

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This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month. Her
name was Priya. She was hit by a lorry. She has a boy friend named Shankar.
Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone. You can never
see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed her phone from
Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the
cost.

She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priyas family knows about
their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priyas family. (just imagine
their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends If I pass
away please burn me with my handphone she also said the same thing to her
parents.

After her death, people cant carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them
tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry
the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called their
neighbour, a bomoh from Thailand (pak Darin), who is a friend of her
father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few
minutes, he said this girl misses something here. then her friends told
Darin about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the
coffin and place her phone and SIM card inside the casket. after that they
tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the
van easily. All of us were shocked. (can u feel the fear. Im shaking at
this moment)

Priyas parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away. After 2
weeks Shankar called Priyas mom. Shankar :.Atte, Im coming home today.
Cook something nice for me. Dont tell Priya that Im coming home today, i
wanna surprise her. Her mother replied..You come home first, i wanna
tell you something very important. after he came, they told him the truth
about Priya.

Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said dont
try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her Please stop
this nonsense. then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) ..

He said Its not true. we spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Shankar
was shaking. Suddenly, Shankars phone rang. see this is from Priya, see
this he showed the phone to priyas family. all of them told him to
answer.he talked using the loudspeaker mode. all of them heard his
conversation.

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya
& there is no way others could use her SIM card since it is nailed inside
the coffin they were so shocked and asked for pak Darins help again. pak
Darin brought his master (tok Chen) to solve this matter. He & Darin worked
for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

HUTCH has the best coverage :)

Wherever you go, our network follows!!!!



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guy dials home from work. A strange woman answers.
GUY: "Who is this?"
MAID: "This is the maid."
GUY: "We don't have a maid!"
MAID: "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
GUY: "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
MAID: "Ummm..... she's upstairs with someone whom I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming.
GUY: " Listen, would you like to make 50,000 bucks?"
MAID: "What do I have to do?"
GUY: "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that lady and the jerk she is with."
The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears the footsteps, followed by two gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone.
MAID: "What should I do with the bodies?"
GUY: "Throw them in the swimming pool!"
Maid: "What? But there's no pool here!"
Long pause....... ......... .........
GUY: "Uh.. Is this 8324825?"
MAID: "No."
GUY: "Oh.. Sorry......Wrong number.."

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!*^& JoKe$ &^*!
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A man was praying to god.

He said, "God ?"


God responded, "Yes?"


And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"



"Go right ahead", God said.


"God, what is a million years to you?"


God said, "A million years to me is only a second."


The man wondered.


Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"


God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."


So the man said, "God can I have a penny ?"


And God cheerfully said,


"Sure!.......just a second ."

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